If your children are fortunate enough to still have their grandparents living, then there will come a day when you may have to face their final days together.
You may even be so fortunate as to be able to talk together with them about their final wishes and maybe even to say goodbye.
My heart is breaking as I write this, because that's the "fortunate" situation my children and I are facing together now as we watch my mother, their grandmother, prepare to leave this world.
My mother has bravely fought cancer for several years. She is a woman of strong faith with confidence in a better life to come. She does not fear death and she openly shares her faith.
As important as it is for us to prepare our kids to live, it is also just as important for us to help them to prepare to die, learning not to fear death but to understand it as the end of the normal process of living. Modeling a faith life is a way to help to explain the unanswerable.
So my "Straight Talk" message to dads for this month is this: do not be afraid to discuss death and dying with your kids. It is a part of life as much as birth. Prepare your children to face their final day. Share with them your final plans and wishes. And help them to understand how to say goodbye.
As I said before we are fortunate. My mother's illness has been a long one, and we have all had an opportunity to tell her goodbye. But for many of us, death comes as a thief in the night, unexpected. Help your children to understand that we should treat every farewell with a loved one as a precious moment; one which may be our last. Cherish your time together.
By bravely showing us how to die my mother is teaching us all how to live. Love one another. Say I love you. Share a hug and even a tear.
Goodbye mom. I love you very much.
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Duane Highley is the father of four older children, ages 14 to 25. He and his wife Lisa reside in Springfield. He'd love to hear your comments. Please email
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