Out with the Old; In with the New

Old Rule:       Good parents enroll their children in as many extracurricular activities as possible in   order to maximize their growth and development.

New Rule:     The best parents limit their children's extracurricular activities in order to spend more time with them at home.

Old Rule:       Good parents sacrifice all their free time for the benefit of their children's schedules and activities. 

New Rule:     The best parents, if they are married, focus on their children, but not to the detriment of their couple relationship. They know their children do best when mom and dad demonstrate active love and care for each other and function as a team.

Old Rule:       Good parents make their child's life easier, requiring very little of them at home in terms of chores, figuring that school is a child's work.

New Rule:     Great parents introduce some challenge and struggle into a child's life by requiring "family contributions," i.e., chores in addition to schoolwork and extracurricular activities.

Old Rule:       Good parents focus on finding just the right environment to enhance their child's education.

New Rule:     Great parents see the school as an adjunct or support to what they are doing at home.

With the advent of another school year, children everywhere are adjusting to the rules and expectations of new teachers, schools and classrooms. Conscientious parents are also thinking about how to raise their children to become healthy, responsible, caring adults. They read books and talk to teachers. Sometimes they even size themselves up in comparison to other parents, wondering if their parenting strategies will produce a superior child.

During September we'll focus on what experts tell us about the characteristics of healthy families and children. Our context, culture and community often send mixed messages about the parenting approaches that produce the best outcomes for children. In the weeks ahead, look for information to help you sort through all the confusion.