Eddie and Lameka

Eddie and Lameka know the song has it right: sometimes you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.  That's how it was for Eddie and Lameka, who celebrated their first wedding anniversary in June, but broke up several times along the way.

The two waved and smiled at each other at the bank inside the grocery store where Eddie worked.  Since Eddie was involved with someone else, several years passed before they spoke.  But finally the day came when he approached her.  "How you doing?" he said.  "You know, you're my weakness."  It was a good line.  A friendship formed, and after 18 months, the two started dating.  The couple estimates about seven years went by between the first wave and their "I do's."  And what's in between makes their story so interesting. 

So what's in between?  "Actually she got pregnant--two times--we have two children together and we still weren't gonna get married," Eddie says.  The two broke up after the children were born--a break up Eddie describes as "kind of miserable."  Although they could have dated other people, they chose not to.  They were still in love.  "I think the kids did help us realize how much we loved each other," says Eddie.  "I would always see her and the children, and then I realized that they were what I wanted.  I wanted them with her; I didn't just want them alone.  I wanted us to be a family."

Both credit a relationship class at church with helping them strengthen their marriage.  Knowing that they were once indifferent to the relationship, and almost lost each other, is one of the most valuable lessons.  "I've come to the understanding that the only thing that can destroy us--the way that we've been blessed--is us," says Eddie.  With help from a pastor, he learned to see the good in marriage: the importance of a family, sharing, and being willing to work through problems.  Now, he enjoys the challenge of marriage along with watching the kids grow up.  "As a married couple, loving each other, we're teaching our children about commitment and we're teaching them about longevity, and not giving up, and about being faithful," Lameka says.

Eddie advises couples contemplating marriage to acknowledge that marriage isn't easy.  "It's gonna be hard," he says.  "Sometimes you'll really wanna give up.  I will always sit down at the end of the day and not think about what's not, but think about what is.  The most important thing is what is."