Chuck and Ginger

When Chuck and Ginger first laid eyes on each other at the tender age of fifteen, it certainly wasn't love at first sight. In fact, Ginger happened to be dating Chuck's cousin at the time, and didn't think much of Chuck's long hair and funky clothes, "He was a real hippy type!" It was only about a year later, when Chuck had cut his hair, and was now on the track team, that Ginger thought, "Hmmm, this guy's OK!" She still believes that he only spoke to her at that track meet to get to know her best friend, who happened to be a cheerleader! Chuck vehemently denies it to this day, saying he was drawn to Ginger's cute, fun-loving nature.

You could call Chuck and Ginger an extreme couple; they both love the outdoors, adventure and trying new things. "I've done things I never thought I'd do in my entire life, ice climbing, marathons, triathlons and even a race in the ocean!" exclaims Ginger, adding that "it's Chuck who's been the inspiration."

According to Chuck, "We both enjoy challenging ourselves and each other, both mentally and physically. Ginger is my springboard; she gives me more freedom than I'd probably give myself."

Undoubtedly, the toughest time in Chuck and Ginger's twenty-two year marriage was the experience of losing their 4-year-old son Conor. "We learned a lot about each other in those first six months," says Ginger. Understanding how differently men and women grieve was a huge challenge for the Fosters, and it threatened not only their marriage, but also their faith. They learned first-hand why statistics showed almost 90% of couples that lost a child ended up in divorce. Fear of bringing the other down almost stopped them talking about it, which forced them further and further apart, until one day they asked, "Were we OK before Conor died?" After a long discussion, they made a pact to stick it out, not allowing divorce as an option.

"The real turning point," says Ginger "was when we started talking about having another child." That discussion was inspired by their son Sean, who had informed them that he was praying for a baby brother every night. Through what Chuck and Ginger describe as a miraculous chain of events, they were able to adopt Shane within just days of making the decision to adopt. That story has allowed the Fosters to inspire and touch many people's lives "without even knowing it." The experience has also strengthened them in their faith and allowed them to share and be more open about it.

"People need to realize that it's not always sweet smelling roses! When it's not fun, be patient, give each other some breathing space; we all go through cycles," says Chuck with regard to weathering the difficult times in a relationship. "Sometimes people need to be alone, to put things back into perspective." Ginger's advice is, "Talk to each other; don't go to friends; they tend to reinforce the negative instead of the positive.  Learn how to fight; we would never acknowledge that we were at a stalemate; one of us always had to be right. It's taken us years to understand that!" Ginger also recommends dating each other, "Surprise your spouse with intimate time alone; this is especially true when children come along!"

Astonishingly, after all they've been through, Chuck and Ginger admit that one of their "biggest, knock-down, drag-out fights" has been over which way the toilet paper flips. In fact, there may still be some mileage in that one after Chuck once more emphasizes his point, "Have you ever been to a hotel, it's always coming over the top, neatly folded...you know why? Because it's been professionally installed!"