Joe and Judy

At the tender age of fourteen, the attraction was all physical for Joe and Judy; they were high-school sweethearts. It was only years later that they learned to appreciate each other’s finer qualities. For Judy, it happened to be Joe’s quiet, self-assured nature that had a wonderful calming effect on her and allowed her to feel completely secure. Joe loved that he could be himself around Judy and the fact that she gave him unconditional love, in spite of the disabilities from his horrific accident.

While still in high school, Joe’s family had moved to Atlanta. At the age of eighteen, he was involved in a car vs. train accident, and suffered injuries so severe there was doubt as to whether he would make it at all. After five years apart, including a year of intense physical therapy to regain the use of the entire left side of his body, the couple was re-united. Unfortunately, they didn’t hit it off so well, and this time it was Judy who moved away to California for a year. When Judy moved back, Joe didn’t make the same mistake twice, and they were married shortly thereafter.

The fact that Joe and Judy were willing to drive to Nashville at 1 a.m. gives one some indication of just how excited they were about the birth of their first grandchild. They were on the phone with their daughter just as she went into the delivery room, when they lost her in a bad reception area. By the time they got to the hospital, their “perfect little baby” was waiting to greet them there. “It was the culmination of our years together and seeing the next generation,” says Joe, which made the moment so special for them.

Joe and Judy have been through some taxing times, even early on in their marriage due to Joe’s handicaps. Throughout their 31 years together, they have relied on the same source for strength—their faith. “We did not know a lot about marriage,” says Judy, “we didn’t have a lot of counseling when we first started out, so we just clung to the Lord, and to what the Bible had to say on marriage.”

Perhaps the most burdensome period was when their son was struggling with substance abuse, and they even began to question their abilities as parents. “That was really heartbreaking for us…a lot of our lives were devoted to our children so it was a real shock for us. We wondered what we did wrong; how could this happen to us?” Morning devotions as a family and prayer together were vital to them, and they found strength in their faith and each other’s support. After enduring such tough times, they are able to look back and find the positive, “It’s like the hardships and the times we’ve been vulnerable have drawn us closer to each other.”

It is no surprise that the Shirleys have been mentors and teachers for younger couples, they also taught a “Young Marrieds” class at James River. Joe comments on how well they work together, “I feel the Lord has put us together to complement one another.” They have also grown as individuals through the marriage says Judy, “I have become a more secure and wise person because of the stability and friendship of my husband.” Joe too has grown; “Judy loving, respecting and believing in me has given me the confidence to be who I am.”