“Nearly ten years!” that’s the thought that occurred to me as I was sitting in a meeting last week. Ten years ago, in 2002, four of us (three have since moved from the area) put our heads together and dreamed about what it might be like if we could encourage a more “marriage friendly” culture in our community. We wondered if community leaders in business, education, health care, the faith-community and other venues were aware of the difference healthy marriage made in the lives of children, adults and the community as a whole. We speculated about how relationship education might help couples form and maintain a safe, stable and happy home, thereby improving outcomes for children. We questioned if there were any coordinated efforts in our area to make people aware of existing resources. We decided to have a series of seven focus groups to find out.

Last week’s “Toilet Tutorial” apparently struck a chord as readership spiked and I received an unusual number of emails and personal contacts regarding the post, in addition to the comments in our Disqus section. Apparently many of you thought there were quite a few similarities between marriage and toilets. I appreciate all the feedback, which helps me to wrap up the tutorial with a few specific strategies for managing rough patches in couple relationship.

The toilets at the clinic where I work can be a bit challenging at times. They’re in an older portion of our building and the water pressure is not what it could be. When a number of the toilets are flushed in a relatively short time period, the tanks take longer to fill than many commercial grade toilets might, e.g., in a busy airport or hotel. The result is that occasionally, more often than our staff or students might like, we have some “issues” with our toilets. They flush incompletely. They back up more easily than we might like. They fill at a maddeningly slow pace. In short, they’re less than ideal, but we need to live with them for the time being because the “fix” is likely to be very pricey.

This past week I was contacted by a local TV News affiliate regarding the most recent Pew study indicating that only 51% of our current population is married. They wondered, “Does this mean that marriage is going out of vogue? Is it an old-fashioned idea that has lost its relevance?” While it’s certainly a good idea to consider why the percentage of married Americans has declined from 72% of the population 50 years ago to 51% today, it’s also a bit dramatic to make a sweeping generalization about the future of marriage. I’d like to take a few minutes here to comment on some likely contributors to this recent trend and offer some additional thoughts about healthy marriage.